Wedding Advice

I am a newlywed, and I am relieved that the wedding planning is over and that I get to spend the rest of the summer relaxing with my new husband!  For anyone who is planning a wedding, here are some words of wisdom.

Everyone has an opinion, but you don't have to listen to anyone.  Lots of people told us not to go to Greece for our honeymoon because they thought it would be dangerous.  It was totally safe, and some things were less expensive because fewer people are traveling there.  We also felt like we got excellent service at every hotel and restaurant because Greek tourism as declined.

Having a photographer that you like as a person makes everything so much more fun!  Your wedding photographer will be by your side most of your wedding day, so make sure you like them!  I totally lucked out with the lovely Meredith Perdue!

Be smart about tanning leading up to your wedding.  You don't want tan lines!  I wore strapless dresses leading up to the wedding date to avoid any tan line issues.  Also, don't be that bride that gets a spray tan and is 10 shades darker than anyone else at the wedding.  A former co-worker of time got spray tanned before her September wedding in Chicago and it looked ridiculous since she was the only one with a tan.

Bring appropriate footwear on your honeymoon.  I brought heels but not sneakers.  The roads in Greece are not high heel friendly, and there were lots of hiking opportunities so I ended up buying sneakers in Greece.

Have a pair of flats at your wedding.  I was very glad that I did this!

If you are planning a summer wedding, or a wedding somewhere warm, consider a second dress for dancing.  What people do not realize is that there is a lot of fabric in a wedding dress and you get really hot wearing one!  I was so glad that I had a short dress to change into! 

Some people are difficult.  Before you bend over backwards to accommodate the most difficult guests - think twice.  In my case, my most difficult guests said they were coming - but were no shows.  Some people are just going to be difficult, my advice would be to stand your ground whatever their issue is, and don't waste your time trying to accommodate them, instead weed them out, if they are difficult from the get go - they will be difficult until the end.

If you aren't doing photos until after the ceremony, have a cocktail hour and a half instead of a cocktail hour.  Our photos took about 45 minutes or so.  When we got to the cocktail hour and a half we were able to say hi to almost every guest.  It was a huge relief to have 90% of the hellos out of the way before dinner.  After dinner we said hi to the few people we had missed and then we just got to have fun!

Have someone with experience help to bustle your dress.  Five of my girl friends were involved in trying to bustle my dress - I can't wait to see photos of this because I am sure they are hilarious.  My girl friends said that dress bustling should be a Girl Scout Badge - they are absolutely right.  Also - before you put your dress on, explain how your dress bustles to your bridesmaids.  It is easier to show them when you aren't wearing the dress.

Get a joint bank account before the wedding.  Cashing checks written to Mr. and Mrs. can be a huge hassle.  It is easier if you have a joint bank account because they aren't as strict about your last name on the check matching the last name on the account.  Changing your name takes a little while - and you are probably going to want to cash checks right away.  Fortunately my bank let me deposit the checks to Mr. and Mrs. - but it did require bringing my husband and our marriage certificate with me to the bank.  Note to wedding guests: always write the check to the groom - the couple will have no problems cashing the check if you do this!

Gather the documents you will need to change your name before the wedding.  Make sure you have your birth certificate, driver's license, passport, and social security card!

Make sure your birth certificate is accurate.  It sounds silly, but my mother's maiden name was spelled wrong.  Make sure your marriage license is correct as soon as you receive it, filling out the form correctly does not necessarily translate to a marriage license with accurate information.  They also spelled my mother's maiden name wrong.  It is super annoying requested corrected vital records, but probably best that we found the mistakes and can correct them before we file the immigration paperwork for my husband.

Some people have asked me if I would do anything differently.  The one thing I would do differently is that I would have given myself another hour to get ready.  By the time I was ready, it was time to walk out the door for the ceremony.  I wish I had a little more time to let everything sink in before I walked down the aisle.

Let's talk about The Wedding

Oh my goodness I am married!  I know that this is a food blog, but I want to share some of what I had learned about wedding planning, because I have learned a lot.

On DIY Projects:
I picked projects that would be done weeks before the actual wedding.  Do not pick things that need to be done at the last minute.  Girl friends of mine had shared stories of brides making them help with silly projects into the wee hours the night before the wedding.  I wanted to avoid this.  I have tackled some major DIY projects though.

• I learned calligraphy from a book my mother gave me when I was a kid.  Granted that it is not the most fancy calligraphy, but it gets the job done.  So I decided that doing the calligraphy myself would be a great way to save money.  I took a class at Paper Source to refresh my memory and then got to work.  I did calligraphy for the Save the Dates, Invitations, Table Numbers (which are really city names) and Place Cards.  The overall saving was probably about $4-5 a guest.

Place Cards

Table Names (before I erased the pencil)

On Little Ways to Save Money:
Weddings can be crazy expensive, so I thought it made sense to save money in ways that were easy and made sense.

• We sent Save the Date postcards.  This saved money since we did not have to purchase envelopes, which can be surprisingly pricy, and the postage cost less.  The overall savings was a couple hundred dollars.

The Save the Date - scanned from a Vintage Postcard

• Our Reply Card was also a postcard.  Again, no envelope and less postage.  This saved a couple hundred dollars.

The Reply Card - also scanned from a Vintage Postcard

• We set up a great website.  We included all of the extra info on where to stay, how to get there, and what to do on the website.  This worked really well, because people tend to lose paper information anyway.  I used Wedding Window for our site.  It cost $70 and was easy to set up.
• We sent Evites for all of the extra events.  We did this because it was easier, people reply to Evites more quickly, and because people tend to loose paper invites anyway.

On the Food:
My sister gave me great advice.  Hors d'oeuvres should never be too garlicy, too messy, or leave anything behind (like a shrimp tail or toothpick).  

On planning:
Try to do as much as you can, as early as you can.  My number one goal three weeks before the wedding was to make sure that everyone has all of the information they need before the leave for the trip.  I have been to weddings in the past where it wasn't very clear where the events where, how to get there, and where they started.  A little planning ahead can make things much easier for your guests.

• Create a downloadable packet of information for your guests.  This was very easy to do.  Using Microsoft Word, I created a document that included key phone numbers, addresses, and a map.  Then I saved it as a PDF and made it part of the wedding website.
• Google Documents can be your best friend.  They have templates for wedding planning.  I thought that their Seating Arrangement Template was great.  I used that as a base, but then added tabs for a To Do List, Meal Breakdowns, RSVPS, etc.
• Have a To Do List.  Include anything you may forget.  My fiance gets an email from my every Monday outlining what we need to do, and who needs to do what.  This has been a huge help.  We are actually a little ahead of the game.  He likes to know what needs to be done so he can tackle projects whenever he has time.
• Limit the number of times you contact your vendors, and give them clearly organized information.  I think most people prefer to receive one clearly thought out email instead of a bunch of back and forth.  I haven't been perfect with this, but I am trying.  Going the extra distance with organizing will probably pay off.  Clearly tell the caterer the final count, the breakdown of who is eating what.  Then take it a little further, how many tables are there, how many people at each table, and how many people are eating each dish at each table.  If there is a diagram that you can use to incorporate this information it will leave no room for confusion.

I am married!

Charles and I tied the knot on Saturday.  The weather called for thunderstorms, but it was sunny and perfect.  The most incredible group of people in the world came to Kennebunkport to celebrate with us.  There were also so many wonderful people who helped with the planning!

The ceremony was performed by a dear friend Rev. Corgan whose daughter was my best friend when I was a little girl.  Everyone commented on what a lovely ceremony it was.  I spent most of the ceremony trying to get my knees to stop shaking!  Thank goodness I wore a long dress.  Charles's hands were shaking when we exchanged rings.

My parents and sister came up with fantastic ideas to decorate the venue.  We got married at the Kennebunk River Club Boathouse - which is a stilted building in the river that looks out to the ocean.  It is the perfect place for a wedding.  My family brought in trees with lights to decorate, which looked incredible.  Other decorations included Chinese lanterns and vintage trunks.  My mother seriously thought of everything.  I think she needs to become a wedding planner!  My sister, Mom, Dad, and some of their friends spent the morning decorating, which was so nice of them!

My brother had a big surprise up his sleeve.  During a band break he and his friend set off a fireworks display!  It was the icing on the cake.

We had a rocking band - The Lisa Love Experience who kept the party going all night.  You can see from the photos that we got sweaty from dancing so much.  Lisa even had me and my friends Dre and Woody perform with her.  We sang Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.  Even 2 days later our knees and feet hurt from so much dancing.

Our photographer, Meredith Perdue was great.  She was a huge help when it came to keeping us organized when we were getting ready.  She had lots of great ideas, and it was such a pleasure getting to know her, and I can't wait to see the photos!

We also hired Maine Photobooth Company.  I had no idea that they would do this, but they put together a guestbook for me, which I adore.  Friends added photos from the photobooth and wrote messages.  I was so excited to look through it.  The best part was that I got a memory stick with digital copies of all of the photobooth pictures.  Looking through those photos was the first thing I did when I got home!

The caterer Kitchen Chicks served what I was told was the best wedding food people had ever had.  It was delicious, and the best part was that I actually got to sit down and enjoy it.  The Kitchen Chicks staff was on top of things all night.  If someone saw me without a drink in my hand, one was delivered to me.  When someone asked if I needed anything, and I jokingly said shade, because the sun was right on me while I ate dinner and it was hot in my dress, someone actually stood and blocked the sun!  (and then I explained he didn't need to do that!)  Kitchen Chicks went above and beyond - they even had a waiter who spoke Spanish - which was a huge relief since my mother in law is Spanish.

I also owe HUGE THANK YOUS to my friends!  John and Lisa let me get ready at their home, which is right next to the wedding venue.  They also hosted the after party!  John also acted as chauffeur - he drove me to the wedding in his 1942 Woody.  It was so much fun!  I can't thank him enough!  I also owe a giant thank you to my friend Brian who hosted the after after party.  It was a blast!

Thank you to everyone who traveled to attend the wedding.  It means the world to me that so many people were able to join us.